All Shall Be Well: Breathing In and Out
This is one of the last views I've had of our bougainvilleas giving so much cheer outside our window. I behold this sight as a wonderful sign that as St. Julian of Norwich says, "All shall be well, and all shall be well. And all manner of things shall be well." Why do we need to keep reminding ourselves that all shall be well?
Well, because we have now crossed the one year anniversary mark from the day of Covid lockdown. I remember clearly it was March 16, 2020. It almost feels like the day the war officially started. Our generation and the younger ones have not lived through the traditional world war, unlike our parents did. But now we do have a World War III, which is the battle against Covid.
Finally a weapon has been developed, called vaccine. But sadly, only the rich countries have lots of these. And in our country with its burgeoning population, only trickles have come in. And the past 2 weeks cases have gotten so high.
Covid has also invaded our own home. What was the greatest fear of 2020, that of contracting the virus, has suddenly become a reality here for one member of our household. And the rest of us now wear our battle uniforms (face mask, face shield) and keep good distance from each other. In fact, I have had to also isolate myself in the living room as a precaution against falling for the enemy. So far we are managing, but we still need to be very vigilant and work as a team to eradicate its presence in our home. Patience. Focus. Courage. Faith. Trust in the mercy and tender love of our God.
These days, calmness is gold. It is so easy to become quite anxious. The mind, since it has to work to put all the necessary logistical support as well as emotional support in place, works and works. But then thinking of the worst case scenarios which we also have to consider in our "strategic planning" also has the effect of letting those fears linger.
It had to take deliberate slowing down. Pause. Near-silence. Moments of quiet. I found that listening to Roshi Ruben Habito's teisho on anxiety very helpful. He reminded us to go back to being still. Pause from the doing. To regain the space that brings us to our true nature. That inner core of calm. Attending the daily early morning sit with our zen group, where aside from sitting quietly, Roshi Sr Sonia shares her deep experiential wisdom on "aspects of truth that are countless" enlarges the inner space where calm can be accessed again. Listening to the Aquino sisters praying the recording of the Holy Rosary, and then my own conversation/colloquy with our Beloved Lord also has been calming. Because I know I am in the presence of the Creator himself. We can trust that we are in his heart, and forever will be. Attending daily mass via online also has been most consoling. Listening to the homilies of Fr. Tito Caluag who talks in a very down-to-earth, practical manner about the Gospel. He makes suggestions on what we can reflect on for this Lenten season, always centering on God's will. Therapy work, though sporadic because I have had to clear some time to attend to the needs of the family, still continued and continues to bring me great joy. During these days, I can only be grateful that I am still able to squeeze in some time for this. It also helps to break the anxiety I feel when I have to once again think about Covid-Related matters.
The news is so full of stats on number of cases. It's now rising like crazy. After a year, you would think we would have got it down pat to minimal. Instead, it is as if we went full circle and came back to where we started. Unlike other countries that are managing much better.
So many people have gotten sick or have passed away due to Covid or other reasons, during this one year. Mothers of my classmates and friends. Many other older people. A number of people our age too have passed away. And yet Covid goes on..
In, and out. In and out. That is how our breath works. Perhaps it's time to think of this Covid as in and out too. Covid in, Covid out. It has come in, and it will go out. It will not stay forever. We go back to sitting still. And focusing on our breath. On the in and out. In and out.
In yoga, the breathing in provides energy for motion. The breathing out relaxes and calms our system. So now that Covid is in, when Covid goes out, we exhale it out to restore calm, to restore relaxation. If it seems like it comes back in, we can exhale it out. Through our nose. In our mind. In our being. We inhale, then we exhale. Then we are restored.
Let's pray very hard that "all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well." And let's pray very hard that every single one in our whole country shall be well.
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