the passing time
Just as soon as July came, it is soon to go. The end of July is already next week! I sit by this window just as I have been sitting here for the past 4 months. Over 4 months in fact.. Week after week, I sign on to accompany people through psychotherapy sessions. At first many were thinking that this period of lock down would soon be over, and we would be able to resume face-to-face therapy. Then the weeks stretched into months. Today it seems this will stretch till at least the end of the year. I daresay even most likely till at least the middle of next year.. but one can't be too sure. We can still hope for the miracle vaccine. The drop from heaven. The blessed cure we are all praying for.
Gradually I have gotten used to connecting through the computer screen. To listening amidst the crackling sounds of either my or the other person's earphones. To the moments of now you see her, now you don't image on screen, as the wifi power fluctuates. A few months ago, we would at times sign on one app, then decide to close and travel to a different app. Zoom in, then out, and into Viber or Skype, or Messenger, or WhatsApp, or Telegram or FaceTime or Doxy Me, or simply to the mobile phone when all apps are difficult to use in the moment. I would find myself settling for any of these and reminding myself, that at least, we can still connect. Therapy can still go on, in a sort of maimed or chopped fashion. Presence can be blunted, but at least not snuffed out..
This month, those apps are more steady. It becomes clearer which ones are more reliable. Zoom. FaceTime. Skype. These are the winners. The others are not losers, but second-liners.
Perhaps with more advanced technology, even these tools will be a different animal later on. Hologram? The person as if jumping out of our screen and seating herself in front of us? Who knows what next.
***
I really wonder what the world will be like for the next generation. More gadgets upon gadgets to spread one out thinly? Or, a simpler, toned down life of family and nature and jobs close to home like in the prior centuries. I won't be around to witness that in person. I just hope though that whatever form life in the future will take, there will be more inner peace and love within each individual, and that this inner state will also reflected in the outer world. Of what use is modern technology if one is only more distracted, more harried, more unable to love? Love's greatest form is not in the physical realm. Peace, joy, love are not bound by progress. They are timeless, formless, boundless in and of themselves, even as they manifest in time, form and being.
***
There was a movie before entitled, "Window to the Sky". It had a song, which contained these lyrics:
"Clouds strung like beads, in the grey, silent sky
And I watched them and simplified my mind
One thing is clear, and I know I'll begin from here
The passing time, it changes dreams
And sweeps illusions from my mind
He came to me to be a friend
And I knew somehow he wouldn't stay
That he was someone I would know
A little while
He had a smile and he was free
And he came to give it all to me
The chance to see the way he sees
So I could fly
To Richard's window to the sky
I tried to see
All that he saw for me
Looking through Richard's window to the sky"
The song had those lyrics because the female lead eventually lost her love when he passed away. This was the love who gave her strength and encouragement when she needed it most, when she had huge accident that paralysed her. Through his eyes, she slowly began to "live" again. Sad though coz he passed away.
In this state we are in right now, I would like to borrow and re-write lines to make them into:
"Clouds strung like beads
In the grey, silent sky
And I watched them and simplified my mind
One thing is clear, and I know I'll begin from here
The passing time, it changes dreams
And sweeps illusions from my mind
Things came to me and befriended me
But I didn't know they were not to stay
That they would just be here with me
A little while
They made me smile and I felt free
As I thought I had them all for me
Till the clouds were blown away
Then could I fly
Into my Beloved's window to the sky
I begin to see
All that He sees with me
Looking through my Beloved's window to the sky"
I use Beloved here, because through the years, I have come to realise that our Beloved is our anchor and our constant, amidst the passing time. Unlike the character in the movie where the loved one passed away, here in our life, we come to know the truth that our Beloved will not pass away... time will pass like it does every second... but this Beloved is as eternal as the sky. And when HE teaches us to see the way He sees, we get a glimpse of the eternalness of His love.
He is love. He is eternal. Love is eternal.
***
Time to come back down from the clouds! Back to the reality of these uncertainties of life. To the next online psychotherapy session. To the next Zoom in and out. To the next encounter with eternal loving and living in the now.
Sigh!
Gradually I have gotten used to connecting through the computer screen. To listening amidst the crackling sounds of either my or the other person's earphones. To the moments of now you see her, now you don't image on screen, as the wifi power fluctuates. A few months ago, we would at times sign on one app, then decide to close and travel to a different app. Zoom in, then out, and into Viber or Skype, or Messenger, or WhatsApp, or Telegram or FaceTime or Doxy Me, or simply to the mobile phone when all apps are difficult to use in the moment. I would find myself settling for any of these and reminding myself, that at least, we can still connect. Therapy can still go on, in a sort of maimed or chopped fashion. Presence can be blunted, but at least not snuffed out..
This month, those apps are more steady. It becomes clearer which ones are more reliable. Zoom. FaceTime. Skype. These are the winners. The others are not losers, but second-liners.
Perhaps with more advanced technology, even these tools will be a different animal later on. Hologram? The person as if jumping out of our screen and seating herself in front of us? Who knows what next.
***
I really wonder what the world will be like for the next generation. More gadgets upon gadgets to spread one out thinly? Or, a simpler, toned down life of family and nature and jobs close to home like in the prior centuries. I won't be around to witness that in person. I just hope though that whatever form life in the future will take, there will be more inner peace and love within each individual, and that this inner state will also reflected in the outer world. Of what use is modern technology if one is only more distracted, more harried, more unable to love? Love's greatest form is not in the physical realm. Peace, joy, love are not bound by progress. They are timeless, formless, boundless in and of themselves, even as they manifest in time, form and being.
***
There was a movie before entitled, "Window to the Sky". It had a song, which contained these lyrics:
"Clouds strung like beads, in the grey, silent sky
And I watched them and simplified my mind
One thing is clear, and I know I'll begin from here
The passing time, it changes dreams
And sweeps illusions from my mind
He came to me to be a friend
And I knew somehow he wouldn't stay
That he was someone I would know
A little while
He had a smile and he was free
And he came to give it all to me
The chance to see the way he sees
So I could fly
To Richard's window to the sky
I tried to see
All that he saw for me
Looking through Richard's window to the sky"
The song had those lyrics because the female lead eventually lost her love when he passed away. This was the love who gave her strength and encouragement when she needed it most, when she had huge accident that paralysed her. Through his eyes, she slowly began to "live" again. Sad though coz he passed away.
In this state we are in right now, I would like to borrow and re-write lines to make them into:
"Clouds strung like beads
In the grey, silent sky
And I watched them and simplified my mind
One thing is clear, and I know I'll begin from here
The passing time, it changes dreams
And sweeps illusions from my mind
Things came to me and befriended me
But I didn't know they were not to stay
That they would just be here with me
A little while
They made me smile and I felt free
As I thought I had them all for me
Till the clouds were blown away
Then could I fly
Into my Beloved's window to the sky
I begin to see
All that He sees with me
Looking through my Beloved's window to the sky"
I use Beloved here, because through the years, I have come to realise that our Beloved is our anchor and our constant, amidst the passing time. Unlike the character in the movie where the loved one passed away, here in our life, we come to know the truth that our Beloved will not pass away... time will pass like it does every second... but this Beloved is as eternal as the sky. And when HE teaches us to see the way He sees, we get a glimpse of the eternalness of His love.
He is love. He is eternal. Love is eternal.
***
Time to come back down from the clouds! Back to the reality of these uncertainties of life. To the next online psychotherapy session. To the next Zoom in and out. To the next encounter with eternal loving and living in the now.
Sigh!
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