Another Mini-Vacation!

Interesting how my mini-vacation is going.  I set out to have a no-work and no-house chores break. As much as possible, to just do nothing. Yes, DO NOTHING.  Or close to nothing. Like just sitting or lying down, leisurely leafing through an e-book, or dozing off while watching a drama series (The Crown is IN.)  But it has been a challenge. The past 2 days, I "indulged" in sweeping the floor. Plus I have felt the temptation to do some decluttering here and there, though I have successfully held back, haha. Documents and files have been calling out for me to organise. More online shopping for house needs. The itch to get a list of Christmas plans going, etc. etc.  

I still have almost a week left to do nothing. I have been using a mood tracker and have noticed that the word "tired", referring to physically tired, has disappeared from my mood choices for the day. Relaxed is in. 

This is actually the very first time in my adult life that I am making very good progress at this doing nothing. I can not for the life of me recall any vacation I have taken that were devoid of major responsibilities. Even when we travelled, I always ended up the logistics person. When at home, there were always home affairs to look after. Perhaps though, it is more telling not of my responsibilities, but of my underdeveloped skill of relaxing. So underdeveloped and missing the mark. Not because of any masochistic tendencies on my part. I recall a former officemate describe herself as a "sucker for stress." I don't like to think of myself in her league. But is this denial? If I may indulge in denial, then I will add that perhaps the underdeveloped skill or unused potential (for doing nothing, hehe) may also be partly due to the natural cycle of a woman's life. Student, career person, young wife, mother of growing children, home maker, rising up the career ladder, expanding circles of friends and other social networks, advocate and participant in ministry, all the while trying to listen to a mid-life call to explore new territories within one's self, more time for spiritual activities and growth, still being present to relationships and family hopefully in a deeper, more authentic and present way and so on an so forth. Stillness and silence were not alien in all of these. In fact, many new directions and initiatives were borne out of the times of silence and prayer, especially during retreats, recollections, and most especially during the holy adoration times in front of the Blessed Sacrament. 

But this time, I am talking about DOING NOTHING.  As in being still and JUST BEING. Being relaxed and open. A freedom in just being. No other purpose but to just be. 

I think this week is just a mini-practice. Just to have a taste of its benefits. "Patikim lang."  And this is fine. Hopefully I can set aside more days at length in the future, like a sabbatical, to do this for perhaps at least a month. Next stop. Next goal.

So what are in this so far? Yesterday, I noticed how beautiful the blue sky was with some cloud formations. The weather was cool and dry. Like heralding the coming Christmas season. Beautiful. I also took a siesta, though it was cut short because of having to do a pick up of goods. But those few minutes of lying comfortably in bed with fresh air coming through the bedroom windows, was extremely restful. Slated for a repeat this afternoon!  This morning, it is cool but humid. Rain is drizzling outside. I see the multitude of crystal rain droplets on the pine leaves of the agoho tree. They make for a refreshing sight. The sound of the water continues in the backdrop, both from the rain and from our little pond. The whole house is relatively quiet. 

It is a choice - stay still for the most part of the day? Watch The Crown for as long as I can? Do some memory enhancing exercises by memorising the map of the Philippines? Fun, fun, fun.

Next week will be super busy again. In fact if I compare my set activities with the past months and even years, it may be the busiest set ever since I started doing therapy work. The need is all there. My heart responds and warms up to the need. It is my way of loving Him, each time I meet someone in session. It is my prayer - the person I accompany, Him, and I... in the session. My work is my prayer. 

But that is still next week. I want for now that my rest be my prayer. I offer all my doing nothing as my prayer to our Loving God. The one who perennially gazes at me, at you, at all of us, with love. His gaze signals me, Go ahead and rest, my beloved daughter. I rest with you. We rest together. 

Wise St Augustine's words: "Our hearts are restless, until they rest in Thee." Well, that's it! During the remainder of this mini-vacation, I hope to rest my heart, my body, mind and spirit, my soul... in His heart, his mind, his body, his spirit, His very being. 

So this is really a sacred, mini-break. It feels right to keep on resting. This is not denial, but rather the confirmation of what, where and how our hearts are meant to be. In Him.

Onward bound, Rest, Sleep, "'lazing around"!